Wednesday, August 1, 2012

get lost

I think of myself as a pretty optimistic person.....a glass-half-full, see-the-positive-in-things kind of girl.  Just once in a while.....the pessimism monster creeps in.  I usually kick the unwelcome visitor out of my head, but it's always lurking about, waiting for a moment to wiggle itself back.

I tell you this to understand where I come I see I like to approach life.   But also, to make that connection that we all share.....we have good days, we have bad days.  I can not, and would never expect to, be positive all the time.  I will try my best though to change my attitude when I start hearing that Negative Nelly voice in the back of my mind.

It's a choice.   We don't always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to it.

The reason I bring this up is that today....August 1st (my half birthday)....symbolizes the beginning of the end of summer vacation for me.  Once August hits, I start getting a little sad.   My much-anticipated, much-deserved, much-appreciated break from the hectic school year will be over in a few weeks.  I need to start that transition from carefree-do-whatever-I-want-to-do days, to slowly adding work days at school, planning out my school year, organizing my classroom, preparing for my future group of kiddos, and yes.....starting to go to bed earlier.  Gasp.

I woke up not feeling so great-- headache, backache, scratchy throat-- after a not-so-good night's sleep.  I had planned on going into school to get a little work done in my classroom.  I wasn't looking forward to that.  I wasn't feeling like doing anything.

Then....I opened my curtains and saw the gorgeous day greet me.   With a smile.  And a nudge.  And Negative Nelly had to leave.  I was choosing to forget about how I didn't feel well, and forget about going into work, and I was going to get outside and enjoy this weather.  We'll call the day Positive Polly.....the exterminator of Negative Nelly.

The plan was to sit out on my deck, shaded under the umbrella, and start a new book.

And then I saw them.....a couple of wasps.  Circling around my deck table.  Landing and crawling over the table, the chairs, the umbrellas.....and not leaving.

For those who don't know this about me......if there's one fear I have-- it's bees/wasps/hornets.

I wasn't ready to invite the pessimism monster back, so I grabbed my purse and set out to drive with no specific place in mind.  Just drive.

And drive I did......with the windows all down, the sun shining, the wind whipping through my car.....I drove with a smile on my face.....past everything that is familiar to me.  And I kept driving.  Down paved country roads that turned into dirt roads that narrowed into smaller dirt roads, winding around with 15mph curve signs warning me of sharp turns was both relaxing and exhilarating.

I think there's something about getting lost.  Lost in the moment.  Lost in a new part of town.  Lost in thought.  Lost in the beauty of nature.   It grounds me, and it centers me.  It makes me forget about why I was cranky earlier today, and it gave me some perspective. 

I had to stop off on the side of the dirt road to quickly snap this picture.....this swampy area was SO beautiful....peaceful....serene.   

My summer's not over yet. I'm going to enjoy every moment of what I have left of it. And......when it's over.....I might need to "get lost" once in a while whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed during the school year. Positive Polly might just need to stay in my guest room to make sure that happens. :)


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